First Kisses
by x0showmelove
Summary: Remus has never kissed a girl before...he's scared he might be bad. Who do you think is going to help him learn? SiriusRemus slash


/b I don't own the characters, the places, or anything, actually, besides the plot. That all belongs to J.K. Rowling, as much as I wish it was mine. Ah, well. Enjoy!  
  
PS – This takes place sometime in the Marauders' fifth year, after they  
become Animagi.  
  
uFIRST KISSES/u  
Written:/b February 2004  
/b 1  
/b G  
/b Romance  
  
James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter sat around the fire in the Gryffindor common room. All four of them were doing the massive load of homework their professors had given to them. After a long (and unusual) silence, James finally threw down his quill, shut his Transfiguration book, and shoved them both onto the table in front of him.  
  
"I'm sick of doing school work," he announced.  
  
Sirius followed James's lead and pushed his Potions notes away. "Yeah, I'm bored out of my mind. Let's do something."  
  
Peter looked back and forth between Remus and the other two a few times before finally closing his books and placing them in the bag beside him. Remus, however, only looked up at Sirius and asked quietly, "Well, what do you have in mind?" When Sirius shrugged, Remus looked over at James. "And what about that Transfiguration test tomorrow, hmm?"  
  
James waved a hand dismissively. "Key word: Transfiguration. I'll ace it. But I agree with Padfoot, we ought to do we've bored ourselves long enough, haven't we?"  
  
Remus sighed resignedly and returned his books, parchment, and quills to his bag before turning back to the others. "Right, so, what exactly do you want to do?"  
  
James looked at his watch. "Well, it's too late to go find Snivellus..."  
  
"Yeah, he's probably in the Slytherin common room with his great greasy nose buried in some book of poisons or something," added Sirius.  
  
"So how about..." After a moment's pause, James grinned at Sirius. "T.O.T.?"  
  
Sirius grinned back and replied, "T.O.T. it is, Prongs."  
  
Remus and Peter groaned and exchanged looks. T.O.T. meant, more often that not, that James and Sirius would pry some secret out of Remus, Peter, or both. Even if they both knew the other two would never blackmail either of them, it was embarrassing enough just to admit that you had only stopped wetting the bed at age 8 (Peter had revealed this during the last game).  
  
T.O.T. stood for "truth or truth." When one particularly fractious game of truth or dare had ended in a student, transformed into a large chicken, wreaking havoc on Gryffindor tower, Professor McGonagall had banned James and Sirius from playing it. Remus and Peter were nearly always with the other two, and so they, too, were as good as banned from the game. James and Sirius decided that they could settle for embarrassing information in place of humiliating action, and had come up with the idea of "truth or truth."  
  
Within half an hour, Peter confessed that his first pet had been a guinea pig. This would not have been bad at all had he not also told the others that he had named it Muffin and would sometimes tie a ribbon around his neck so he could walk him around the house. It was one of the rare occasions when Peter and Remus could elicit anything out of the other two boys; James admitted that his favourite toy as a child was a yellow stuffed rabbit called Softie, and Sirius said that he had slept with his teddy bear until he came to Hogwarts, although he claimed this was simply to spite his parents, who wanted the bear burned once Sirius turned seven.  
  
Finally it was time for Remus to be put on the spot. James looked at him thoughtfully for a second, and then spoke.  
  
"Alright, Moony, no embarrassing childhood tales for you. We'll go fairly easy on you since it's usually you we pick on."  
  
"Untrue!" interjected Peter. "You always pick on /i the most...I always have to tell the most humiliating things, and—"  
  
"Okay, Wormtail, you're right," replied Sirius. "But we've had enough about guinea pigs and stuffed animals; let's get off the subject.  
  
"Right. So," continued James, "as I said, this won't be too bad. Just tell us the who, when, and where of the first time you kissed a girl."  
  
Remus opened his mouth as if to speak, but then closed it again and looked away, his face tinged pink.  
  
"I-I, um...I've...well the thing is, I've never...actually, uh...kissed anyone."  
  
Peter merely shrugged and settled back in his chair, but the other two stared at Remus, shocked.  
  
"You can't be serious!" exclaimed James.  
  
"I knew you wouldn't have gone far with a girl, mate, but I hadn't figured you'd never done /i!" added Sirius.  
  
Remus gave a little shrug and stiffened his back, still not looking at either of them. "Well, I...I haven't. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to concentrate on my studying. I'm going upstairs."  
  
James just gave a small wave and turned to Peter to ask another question. Sirius, however, watched Remus as he walked away, a little concerned. He had picked up his Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook, and they had been reviewing werewolves in class...  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
It was late that night, and Sirius lay in bed, making sure the others were asleep. He could tell everyone was fast asleep except for Remus, and that was exactly what he wanted. Sirius slowly pulled his curtains open, got out of bed, and crept quietly across the floor to Remus's bed. Once there, he parted the curtains, slid through the gap, and sat on Remus's bed Indian-style.  
  
"Who's there?" came a nervous whisper from where Remus lay.  
  
"Relax, Moony, it's only me," answered Sirius. He then placed a Silencing Charm on the curtains so the two of them could talk in normal tones without waking the others or being heard.  
  
"What's up, Padfoot?"  
  
"Well, actually, I came to ask you that exact question."  
  
"Wh-what do you mean?"  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on, Moony. James and Peter didn't notice, but you know the past few months have really tuned my senses. The only book you took upstairs with you was Defense Against the Dark Arts, and we've been reviewing werewolves. Now tell me what's wrong. Does it have anything to do with James's question?"  
  
Remus sighed. "Yes. It does, okay? Go ahead, ridicule me now."  
  
Sirius tilted his head slightly to the left. "I wouldn't. I could tell the subject bothered you; I would never really push anything I knew you were sensitive about. I was just wondering why something so insignificant would keep you lying awake for hours. And yes," he said, seeing Remus's expression, "I know that too. You breathe a certain way when you sleep, and you weren't doing it."  
  
"More dog influence, I assume."  
  
"Yep." Sirius nodded, but the truth was he had always paid special attention to Remus and his habits. After all, it had been he who first noticed Remus was always ill or away at the full moon. At first Sirius had thought it was a combination of raging hormones and the knowledge that liking another boy was something his parents would certainly disapprove of, but as he grew older and became closer to Remus he realized the truth. Although James was his best friend, Sirius felt a special connection with Remus, something that went deeper than just friendship. There was some kind of attraction, which he could neither explain to himself nor deny.  
  
"Well, I suppose I might as well tell you," said Remus. "I guess it bothers me to know that I'm fifteen years old and have never even come close to kissing a girl. Especially with you and James as my best friends. Granted he's not off with a new girl every weekend since he discovered Lily, but he still flirts a lot and so do you. And I know you've both, well, done stuff, and I haven't yet, and...I don't even know what I'm trying to say."  
  
Sirius laughed. "Remus, it's not that big a deal. I'm sure loads of guys in our year have never come close to doing anything."  
  
Remus scowled and pulled his knees to his chest. "That's not that point. Its just that next to the two of you, I feel so...inexperienced." He gave Sirius a brief glare. "And I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't laugh at me."  
  
"Alright, alright, stop sulking, Moony. You're supposed to be the mature one of the four of us." Sirius crawled over to sit next to Remus and put an arm around him, brother-like.  
  
Remus felt his heartbeat quicken. Being that close to Sirius always had the same effect on him, however many times it happened—his heart would beat faster and he felt an odd twisting sensation in his stomach. He had tried to suppress it at first, telling himself that the last thing he needed was something else to set himself apart from everyone. But gradually he had come to accept his undeniable attraction toward Sirius, just as he had come to terms with his being a werewolf.  
  
"So, Moony, tell me, why is it you haven't been able to kiss anyone? Not as though you're a bad catch; you wouldn't have to lasso a girl to get one or anything like that."  
  
"Well..." Remus sighed. "I guess I'm sort of...afraid."  
  
"Of...?"  
  
"Well, of getting close to anyone else, for one. If I got close to someone I'd feel like I shouldn't keep secrets, but if I told...well, enough said. And second, I'm...I'm scared to be bad at it, I guess. Since I've never done it, and I would feel like since I'm the guy I would be supposed to know what I was doing."  
  
Sirius grinned. "Is that all? Little Remy is scared to be bad at something?"  
  
"Oh, shut up. That's not true. And by the way, I'm older than you."  
  
"Yeah, well, I'm taller by at least three inches." Sirius's face suddenly became serious. "Listen, Moony, if that's what you're scared of...being bad..." He put his hand behind his head and looked away, slightly embarrassed. "I could, well...help. Like...you could...practice on me, if you wanted to."  
  
Remus was glad it was dark, because he could feel his face getting red. "Uh, well, I...Padfoot...uhm..."  
  
"Of course, if you don't want to, it's fine," added Sirius quickly. "I just thought I could, you know, try to help, and—"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"What?"  
  
Remus gave Sirius a small smile. "Sure. I mean, if you really don't mind...well, thanks."  
  
Sirius smiled back. "Not at all, Moony. Not at all."  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
The next night, Sirius waited again until he could hear that everyone but Remus was asleep. Then he got out of bed, tiptoed silently across the floor, and crawled through the curtains onto Remus's bed. Once he placed a Silencing Charm on the curtains, he crawled over to sit next to Remus.  
  
"Hey, Moony."  
  
"Hey, Padfoot. Where are you? I can't see."  
  
"Here, put your arm up." Remus did so, and Sirius swung his hand in front of him until it touched Remus's. "I'm right here."  
  
"Oh, well, I couldn't have figured /i one out on my own."  
  
Sirius laughed. "And I already knew /i."  
  
"Sarcasm, Padfoot. It's called sarcasm."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. My eyes are adjusted now; what about you?"  
  
"Mine are too."  
  
"Do you want to, ah—" Sirius cleared his throat "—you want to start?"  
  
Remus sat up, obviously embarrassed, and nodded slowly. "Yeah, I s'pose so."  
  
"Alright, so, I guess...I guess we should just, um...kiss, to see how much...how much work you need, or something." Sirius was starting to wonder whether offering his help had been a good idea. Wouldn't this make it so easy for him to slip and reveal the secret he guarded so closely?  
  
"Sirius, I...I don't know, I mean, I haven't a clue what to do; how can I just...just..."  
  
"Listen, the only way to learn is to do it, alright? What are you worried about? It's only me."  
  
Only Sirius. Well, that was a laugh. He had never been 'only Sirius' to Remus. "I know, but..." He sighed. "I don't know."  
  
"Right. And I do, so we'll go with my plan, okay?"  
  
Remus rolled his eyes and smiled the slightest bit. "Bossy jerk."  
  
Sirius punched him playfully on the arm. "Wimp. Now come on, are we going to do this or do I have to tie you down?"  
  
"Want me, do you? I didn't know you were into bondage."  
  
"Hey, I don't have to help, you know."  
  
"I know, I know, I'm sorry, I'm just...just nervous."  
  
Sirius's voice became gentler in an instant. "Moony, it's okay. As I said, it's just me."  
  
Remus sighed and nodded. "Alright. Alright."  
  
"Okay, now just...do what comes naturally, I guess, and we'll...we'll see how we can...tweak that."  
  
After a moment, both boys leaned in hesitatingly until their lips finally touched. There were a few seconds of mere contact, and then Sirius slipped his tongue into Remus's mouth. He reached up to take Remus's face in his hands, and Remus slowly moved one hand around to the back of Sirius's neck. They sat there for a few minutes, lips locked, and then finally broke the kiss. Both of them sat in silence, panting slightly, until Sirius spoke.  
  
"So, Moony...that was the first time you've ever kissed anyone?"  
  
"We've been through that, Padfoot; you know it was."  
  
"Well, in that case..." Sirius grinned. "Not bad."  
  
The two of them carried on with the 'practice session' for another half hour, with Sirius coaching Remus to try this, fix that, and experiment with something or other. Just before he left, Sirius looked at Remus.  
  
"You know, judging by the fact that this was your first time, you won't need too much practice at all."  
  
As Sirius walked back across the room, regretting what he had just said, Remus made a mental note to forget everything he had just been taught.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Over the next week, Remus and Sirius followed the same schedule: once everyone was sound asleep, Sirius would steal silently across the room to Remus's bed. Once there, they would practice for half and hour or so, and Sirius would return to his bed. If they had only been attracted to each other before, now all either boy wanted was to be with the other...they both found themselves hoping their late night sessions wouldn't have to end.  
  
The following Friday afternoon, James, Peter, Sirius, and Remus sat again in their usual seats by the fire. As they did their homework and talked, the conversation gradually turned to girls.  
  
"Yeah, I can hardly get Evans to look at me," said James. "I just don't get her...hey, Moony, speaking of girls..." He grinned. "You, ah, snogged anyone yet?"  
  
Remus rolled his eyes and looked away, somewhat annoyed. "Gods, it's only been what, a week? I'm not you, James, you know." He then went through his bag, apparently searching for something. James sat back, understanding that the discussion was closed.  
  
"Damn, what did I do with my...argh. I left my Charms text in the dorm; I have to get it." He stood and walked toward the staircase, then disappeared up the flight of stairs.  
  
A few seconds later, Sirius was shaking his quill. "The ink won't come out. I'll be back, I have spares in my trunk." With that, he too went up the stairs to the fifth-year boys' dormitory.  
  
Upon entering the room, Sirius saw Remus leaning on his dresser, staring into the mirror. He appeared to be deep in thought. Sirius closed the door and started across the room to where his friend stood.  
  
"Moony?" he called softly. "Remus? You alright?"  
  
Remus turned at the sound of Sirius's voice, slightly startled. "Hi, Sirius."  
  
"Are you okay? You seem a bit...distracted."  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine. What're you doing up here?"  
  
"Oh, just getting some spare quills," he replied, kneeling in front of his trunk. "And...checking to make sure you're alright."  
  
"I am."  
  
"Good." A long, awkward silence followed. Finally, Sirius cleared his throat. "By the way, I...what James said reminded me..."—he stood and walked over to the dresser—"...you're ready to kiss a girl whenever, you know, you want to." As soon as the words came out of his mouth, he wished he could take them back.  
  
"O-oh. Um...thanks, Padfoot." After Sirius's last comment, Remus looked slightly...dejected, was it? No, thought Sirius...it was only wishful thinking, just his mind playing tricks on him, getting his hopes up just to let him crash back down.  
  
Remus silently knelt, opened his trunk and got out his Charms textbook. "Well...I'm going back down. See you in a minute."  
  
As Remus walked toward the door, war raged within Sirius's mind. iDon't let him go...he can't be yours. You've got to tell him...you can't let him know...for God's sake, TELL HIM!!/i  
  
"Remus! Wait!" Sirius exclaimed as he dashed across the room to meet him.  
  
Remus turned to face him. "What, Padfoot?"  
  
"Listen, I...I..." He pulled out his wand, pointed to the door, and muttered "Silencio" as he ran his other hand back through his shaggy dark hair. "I...I...augh!" He growled in frustration and slammed his fist against the wall.  
  
Remus stared, slightly alarmed. "S-Sirius? What is it?"  
  
"Remus, I...I've got to tell you. I don't want...don't..." He inhaled deeply. "I don't want you to go off kissing any girls!"  
  
Now Remus was downright bewildered. "Padfoot, wh—"  
  
He was cut off as Sirius pushed him roughly against the wall, buried his hands in his hair, and kissed him passionately. Remus's shock prevented him from responding, and so when Sirius pulled away a moment later he turned away and hid his face in his hands, muttering to himself. "Oh, God, what the hell am I thinking? I'm insane; Moony, I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm..." He continued on like this until Remus placed his hand gently on Sirius's shoulder.  
  
"Padfoot?" he whispered. "Sirius?"  
  
Finally Sirius looked up at him. "Remus, if you never want to speak to me again, I unde—"  
  
Remus placed a finger on Sirius's lips. "To tell you the truth, Sirius—" he kissed him softly on the lips "—I don't see myself—" another kiss "—kissing any girls—" another one "—any time soon."  
  
Sirius's eyes were wide. "Y-you mean...?"  
  
Remus's only response was to smile and nod. Sirius regained his usual composure and mischievous smile. "Well, in that case..." He pulled Remus over to his bed, where they lay down together and drew the curtains.  
  
"Sirius?"  
  
"Mm hmm?"  
  
"It'd be okay for you to tie me down now."  
  
Sirius only laughed, leaned down, and kissed Remus deeply.  
  
~*~T-H-E-*-E-N-D~*~ 


End file.
